Let me start this off by saying this. No it is not 1950 and I am not June Cleaver, he is not Ward. I am not a door mat. I am not a second class citizen in my own home. I am not told what to do and when. I am not talked at. It is not demanded what I do or say. We are partners, we have been made one by the covenant of marriage. I simply submit because #1 I should and #2 I want to. To be honest I kinda always had even before I knew about biblical submission. Submission was one of the first things I learned about when I was saved because my marriage had just been through the wringer and was still healing. I will say that it was a game changer and least for me and how I viewed my husband and our relationship.
My husband is a unique animal. He has always felt strongly that the husband should support the family and be the head of it. Sure buddy, you can have it. One less thing I have to worry about with the kids, appointments, dinner, other meals, activities/sports, cleaning the house, laundry, and making the bill payments, and for a time I was also working full time. I am pretty sure my plate is full already. I do all of this because most of the time he has a job that is back breaking or high stress work. He is an extremely hard working man.
About a year ago my husband had a hard season because he was not “bringing home the bacon” I was the soul person with THE job. This was a huge blow to him, he almost felt like less of a man because he wasn’t the one supporting the family financially, he felt less than. He did not feel like the leader of our family. It broke my heart to see him like this. Insert God’s plan. God works in crazy ways. Earlier this year a door opened for him and shut for me. We had both prayed about just this and seasons change(not going to lie, I thought of Expose – Seasons Change after I typed this and sang it in my head…sorry) and just like that, he is now once again our bringer of the bacon.
We discuss situations and topics, we have boundaries set for certain things for both of us and each other. Like for example we won’t make a purchase on a single item over $50 without consent from the other. But ultimately he has the final say in things. Once in a while if I feel strongly about something I end up having the final word, however he allows it. Does that makes sense? Yes I said he “allows” me to have final say. Either because he wants to or he agrees whatever it is, or lets face it knowing my husband plain doesn’t care. I still have a voice. I still have my own likes and dislikes. I still make requests of him as he does of me. Its about respect for each other.
Yes and I am cool with this as a woman in 2017. I am not a bra burning men-suck type of girl. I believe in equal rights, and pay. It is important to be a strong woman. You can have strength and not belittle your husband or his role in your family. Just as you can submit and not be a door mat. They are the head of our family, we are the backbone. We give support to everyone with in our family. We as wives and mothers are the support. We are the soft place for our husbands and children to land. We encourage them and love them no matter what. We give them unconditional love. I even read in a article describing us as a complementarian. I like that, because we are to complement our husbands.
So what does the Bible say about submission and marriage?
Ephesians 5:21-33 tells us the main bits. When we submit it is out of reverence for Christ. When we submit to our husbands it is in turn submitting to Christ. We submit to our husbands to lead our family just as Jesus would lead the church. We are praying for him from head to toe for his leadership of our family, for his health, his salvation, our finances, his job. We never speak ill of him to others. We do not demean or belittle him. We think of his needs before we think of ourselves, however we take great care of ourselves for him. We encourage and support him in all that he does.
Colossians 3: 18-25 also speaks to us about submission
1 Corinthians 7 also gives us instruction on marriage.
We also learn about the roles of husbands and wives in 1 Peter 3.
Several verses throughout Proverbs talk to us about marriage and our roles as husbands and wives.
Matthew 19:4-6 tells us to leave our parents as does Mark 10:6-9
All of this starts with Genesis 2:18-25 God’s design for man and woman and plan for marriage.
I have always supported my husband in all that he does. I am his biggest cheerleader. No matter the change or season his life is in, I am right beside him with support that he needs. Job changes, finishing school, lay offs I am there for him. I tried to help him keep his sanity while he was overseas on deployment in the Navy. That was very hard on him. He was gone for a pretty much an entire year away from us. He did the last war cruise on the JFK. Which earns him Navy Vet status. After 4 years he said enough, he wanted to see his kids grow up and have another, the last and final. Going into the service married is a lot harder than going in single. I had one of his SR Chiefs tell us wives that the divorce rate was high for service members that came in married. That is a scary thought.
One of the many things I do for my husband is pray for him daily. I have said this many times before. Pray for that man of yours. I have even started texting prayers to him, because his stress level at work is insane right now, just to help him through his day. He is a Sr Lead at a Solar company and its a baby company growing quickly. So he has a great deal on his plate and shoulders. It makes him feel good to know that I am right here supporting him. Prayer is a huge thing. I can not stress this enough.
So all and all this is why I submit to my husband. #1 because My Redeemer asks it of me. #2 because I choose to for the strength of my marriage and for the love I have for my husband. I submit out of love and respect. I hope that this shines a bit of light on what submission is. That its not some kinky bedroom stuff, biblical submission it is a way of life.
God Bless Y’all